10 right now

summer has arrived on the bonin farm. cameron graduated from high school. we are picking tomatoes and squash from the garden. hours are spent at the water with rods and reels. i love this time of year. here are 10 things right now...

• tomato sandwiches made home baked bread and a tomato from the garden
• sitting on the bank with my peeps wetting a hook...and even catching a few
• pouring through this and this for kitchen fun
• ice cold lemonade and soft teacakes
• this documentary is so interesting to me...i love to see how others live
• raw milk...our family has made the 100% switch to raw milk. that  means our cream and butter are too. delicious and healthy! and a fantastic ride to the farm each week!
• this guy! he is a rock star
• making her strawberry jam...the best i've made yet
• planning camping trips...LOVE state parks
• culinary road trips

a morning

i went out to do my morning chores and found

i stayed out there and tried to manage damage control and gathered the day's harvest.

realized that i was starving. so i cooked breakfast. scrambled 2 eggs and made an heirloom tomato salad from the basket and a cold glass of raw milk. oh how i love a good glass of milk.

gardening, organic or otherwise, is not for the faint at heart. its a tough business for sure. 

forty is...

...knowing that forever love, like the tortoise, wins the race. that love isn't always easy or fair or fun but the reward is oh so sweet. i forever love my sweet mister.

...knowing the value of making a good loaf of crusty bread or a lovely roast & gravy or the perfect cake for my friends and family.

...knowing books to share with my beloved book club.

...knowing that perfect shade of understated pink gloss. and the worth of the smile it brings to my face.

...knowing that my small circle of true friends are more valuable than gold.
   i love you Keisha.
   i love you Laura.
   i love you Shanna.

....knowing that no matter how wrong a day goes, one egg fresh from the nest and one slice of bread makes a Hen in the Nest and that makes comfort.

...knowing that the fear of other's opinion is a prison that i will no longer reside in.

...knowing that counting my blessings is essential.

...knowing that i should be more compassionate like my mother...more dinner for those who are sick, more letters to my friends & family, more cakes to those who are having a special day or just a sad one.

...knowing that i have mastered the art of laundry, of the perfect roasted chicken (rosemary & lemon!), of how to cut an avocado, of how to bandage a boy's knee, of when to stop and read a story to a sweet little face and all those other things that a mother & wife learns.

...knowing this 40 has been learning and growing.
what will the next 40 be?

i want to...

relearn to speak french, fluently. but, spanish will have to do for now. my class starts in 2 weeks. it is going to be muey bueno!

perfect canning tomatoes. my tomato plants died...stupid nematodes. thanks to my pal denise, i get some practice.

learn to sew. how long have i been saying that? what am i afraid of?

be a more mindful mother. working on that.

walk in the light

surround myself with those who love me for me. those who build me up

find the strength to live for myself and my family without the thoughts & worries of what others expect of me. why is that hard for me?

always  always love one another without judgment

am a fan

since marta uses this phrase often i have not so i wouldn't be a copy cat. however, i have said am a fan for like ever so....

am a fan of keen sandals....navy dream please

am a fan of bill bryson and is A Walk in the Woods. i love to learn and laugh all at the same time.

am a fan of my guys learning as many musical instruments as they wish.

am a fan of girl's night out. especially when it is with some new pals and it includes mexican food and a chick flick!

am a fan of traveling. oh how i love the open road. visit new places. meet new friends.

am a fan of  white pizza. can't think of anything better to eat!

am a fan of friends who are my own personal cheerleaders. your words mean so much. love you to bits!

am a fan of being authentic. learning to love the skin you are in. not worrying if someone else will agree with your opinion or like what you are wearing.

what are you a fan of??

today...

i awoke before the boys, stepped out onto my porch and read a while in my rocker. i am so digging bill bryson.

i made bacon & eggs for those pig lovers here. got plenty of smiles and squeezes.

i thought of friends that i haven't seen in a bit and of those new friends that i adore.

i let myself get sucked in an anthony bourdain marathon...hate it when i do that. he is completely awesome though.

i planned a hike in the big thicket. don't forget the mosquito repellent.

i kissed my sweet husband goodbye and wished he didn't have to work tonight.

i took the boys to pick up their new set of drums. now i have a headache, but they are happy.

i  pondered my life and where it is going. i like the direction. everyday i am more & more comfortable in my own skin.

weekending

this weekend we.....

:: read books from our summer lists

::harvested and froze corn from our garden

::soaked up some sun and some a/c....man it is hot in texas

::i got a facial :)

::cam & i went to see the A Team movie with my brother and his sweet, very pregnant wife! i love it when a plan comes together.

::watched sawyer go on many adventures...of course wearing the adventure hat!

::learned that bill bryson is my new favorite author

::laughed much

::loved oh so often

::got just a bit more comfortable in my skin

 (it is hot in texas!)

weekended

summer lovin::trips to the library

in my minds eye i see a 10 year old me with my mom walking into the kountze public library. that sweet little library was in an old house in the middle of town. every step made could be heard all over the library...creak, creak, creak. my mother took me to the children's room and introduced me to Caddie Woodlawn (her own childhood favorite), Ramona, and the Newberry winners. later i met Walden, Treasure Island, and Little Women. memories i will treasure.

now i get to introduce my guys to the adventure and friend books can be. there is something comforting about being with those books. a place where the world book encyclopedia is in print form and there is still a globe to find the exotic place you are reading about. the dewey decimal system is still in place and you must use a card to check your books out. today kevin & i took sawyer to the library. he loves the library. what a joy it is to watch him choose books and movies to bring home. the summer reading program has begun and he is over the moon excited. those astros tickets for 20+ books read in a month is his. such fun!

is....

• happy to be back in this space but had a fab time while away
• ready to head back to the sand and sun.......maybe ben and jerry's too
• blown away by The Help...review to follow
• going to miss her guys while away @ high adventure camp....maybe a little jealous of the canoe fun
• excited to have some one on one time with my littlest peep while his brothers are in arkansas.
• even more excited to be going to visit my dad in a few weeks....i do oh so love eureka springs
• in love with french lemonade.....can't get enough
• feeling more and more comfortable in my skin

see you tomorrow for this moment ;)

downtown

saturday morning 3 of the bonins were up and at em like no body's business. the day had finally come....the downtown beaumont farmer's market. we had a great time. we got some yummy veggies that we aren't growing right now and local beef!! i have been searching high and low for local beef and found none. i mean this is texas...home of the longhorn. and longhorn is what is in my freezer right now waiting for burger friday. there was a local duo singing and playing drums. since sawyer had his harmonica naturally he played along with them....at a safe distance for all. he and i did some exploring downtown with camera in hand while dad hung out on a bench people watching. we spent so time exploring we almost missed story time. the morning ended perfectly with sawyer getting a tomato plant for this summer's kid contest....thank you Greg Bostwick for growing 50 plants for the 1st fifty kids! it was a fab morning. can't wait to do it again this weekend.

today's harvest

today's harvest

gardening and raising chickens, ducks, children. these are things of the pioneers....of my pioneer heritage. i come from a mother and great grandmother who lived their lives in this tradition. many times my dinners were what was ripe in the garden. my breakfasts of eggs from our own chickens. that garden, that organic garden was a joy to my mother (she was organic & homeopathic when it wasn't cool). thankfully, she passed that to me. i never fully understood what something as simple as a garden and a few hens could mean until now. it is feeding my family. a service of love and devotion from my hands to their souls. it is a relationship with our food. mindful not mindless eating. i think of the passages in Cold Mountain where Inman comes across the lady with the goats. she loved them and they her. she respected them for the sustenance they were. lovingly she milked them and she carefully let the life from them when she needed to eat them. mindful.

the buddy club graduates

it seems impossible. my baby has graduated from kindergarten. though i think it is silly to graduate from kindergarten...that is another post for another time. i have to admit the tears did come. in the matter of 2 weeks he turns 6 years old, he ends his kindergarten career and loses his first tooth. almost too much for a mama to handle. the graduation ceremony was precious. the children sang, there was a video (well mostly, the computer malfunctioned) and this was all done Texas style, of course....it was a western theme. sawyer and his buddy club had a fun evening. they love each other and i love that.

the buddy club...Texas style

a day in the life

* sunshine * birds serenading * dogs swimming in the pond * mrs. dalloway * egg gathering * quiet * physicals for scout high adventure camp * chatting * school * fishing * ponytails * NPR *
laundry * couch time with my honey * laughs * burgers & fries * egg delivering * beetle catching *phone conversation with my dad * dreaming of vacations * pondering * smiling * living*

this is a glimpse of my day. an ordinary day that is extraordinary to me. in my world the secret of a happy life is finding joy in the everyday. NPR playing a sonata calms my spirit. chatting with one of my peeps fills my soul. watching the dogs swim in the pond and chase squirrels puts a smile on my face. these are a few of my favorite things.

today's harvest

our newest baby chicks

from our very own eggs

sawyer and his "yoka" poses

for reasons known only to him he chose to practice on the old work truck

the face of a boy who has played his little heart out today

mom: "you are one dirty guy"

sawyer: "yep, it was fun!"

this weekend

this weekend was fantastic chaos for the bonin bunch. i love when everyone has something fun to do! it is always better when the spice of life is something muey caliente like cayenne. friday night was perfect. we had my peeps favorite dinner of spaghetti and meatballs coupled with a movie. saturday is when the games really began. cameron had a yard to mow and another job later that afternoon. sawyer had a birthday party (another of the buddies from the buddy club turned 6). it was the best party ever! bobby had a pirate birthday filled with patches & earrings and even a most awesome treasure hunt....great job mr. woody. sawyer came home with buried treasure in his own wooden treasure chest. so neat. then it was my turn. i helped throw my sweet sister in law erin's baby shower. what a time we had. my brother...aka bobby flay...made us pulled pork, baked beans, and super yummy chipolte potato salad. i might have brought home a to go plate or two. that is the perks of being the aunt. the night ended with my picking jordan & cameron up at a stake dance that night. boy were we tired. but it was a good...great tired.
while all that joy filled my life, there was another mama that had her's taken away. a friend of my jordan was killed in an auto accident friday night. she was a kind, happy 16 year old softball playing junior in high school. in an instant lives where changed forever on a rainy highway on a run of the mill friday night. my heart breaks for them. the pain, the sorrow, that empty lonely feeling you get when you lose part of your heart. i have thought of that mama this weekend. there have been many trips down the hall just to lay eyes on my own peeps and maybe a text or 3 just to say i heart you. i know that mama wishes for just one more chance to do the same. may that mama find peace......may we all.

smiling

i have so much to smile about. i thought i would share the reasons with you.

• the weather is fabulous. the sky is beautifully blue with clouds lazily floating by. the breeze is just enough to keep me cool. LOVE this weather.
• spent the morning with kevin and sawyer at the park. sawyer played with his buddies. we visited with one of my bestest besties. and of course we had an awesome picnic. what is better than a picnic??
• we are on the count down till school ends. i am so ready for my guys to be home and the summer to begin.
• homemade popsicles. yum!
• my garden is growing as it should. tomatoes will be ripe in about 2 weeks and my corn is looking awesome!
• summer reading list. that is a post for itself. i LOVE a summer reading list.
• Kevin's 7 day stretches off. we can go on some mini vacays each month of summer. i am thinking a camping trip up north a little in our future!
• my peeps....nothing makes me smile like my guys!

six

Sawyer Tate Bonin turned six years old. It seems only yesterday that he was a tiny little guy in the NICU holding on to dear life. Now he lives life to the fullest. Happy birthday my sweet boy.

six...

• inquisitive...always searching for the how, the why.
• creative...in play, in clothing choices, in the arts.
• spiritual...you are a child of God and you know, you love it.
• energetic...where does that energy come from? to be sit back and watch your energy...your enthusiasm is a joy.
• friendly...a friend to all. willing to give that flashy smile and a giggle. forever sharing and up for anything. you are an example to us all.
• individual...you are your own kind of guy and you love that. i love that also. i love that you wear the clothes you like, listen to the music you like, and eat what you like...no matter what others say or think. i love that you are a 5 no 6 year old little guy that asked for bongos, a pair of Toms shoes, and a magnifying glass for your birthday......true to your own self!

I love you my little buddy. Happy birthday.

again i ask who gave him permission?

jordan went to his junior prom with his sweet lindsey this weekend. watching him gather his things to get ready, i could not believe he is that old. just yesterday my sweet boy always smiling was playing 4 square with his friends and becoming completely offended when a 4th grader referred to him and his third grade gang as turd graders. where did that little guy go? he has gone down the right path i am happy to report. he is a good boy. one that is kind and chivalrous...always holding a door open for a lady. one that is trustworthy and obedient. driving through town just after jordan and lindsey left for the prom, i saw 2 car loads of other prom goers stop at the liquor store on their way out. i said a silent prayer of gratitude that my child has chosen the path that does not include those kinds of decisions. one who has wonderful friends that support one another by all choosing the right and one who has chosen a kind, obedient, modest girl who loves the Lord to spend his time with. they are one cute couple!

jordan & brad

best buds since being born 7 days apart.

again i ask....who gave him permission to grow up?

hello may

may is one of my favorite months. school is coming to an end so that means it is starting at home with me. fun things to learn. to create. to visit. to become. it is breezy and sunny, warm and cool. there is a yin and yang to may. new flowers, new vegetables coming from the earth. new baby chicks too. may is the month when i spring clean, can have my laundry on the line daily, and bake springy goodness...lemon madelines, teacakes, and madarin orange cakes. it is a book on a blanket under a tree and nature walk after school. it is 18 holes on the golf course and lemonade on the front porch.
this may i hope to::

*whittle down the stack of books on my night table
*sew new pillows for the living room
*reorganize the laundry room closet
*dive deeper into Ephesians
*fill my freezer with dinners for busy nights
*go hiking in the big thicket with my peeps
*have more girl's nights out
*date my fab husband
*laugh
*love

how dare they!

how dare they? how dare my sweet little fellas grow up.

this one. this one with his electric eyes and contagious smile. his love of all things golf and his friends. ever the peace maker and nary a more compassionate heart. always willing to lend a hand with smile. often with a book in his hand ready to have a discussion with his mother. when did he stop playing four square and start driving? when did he move on from finger painting to college english (as a junior i might add)? i am so proud of this young man...this leader among young men with heart that belongs to his Father in Heaven 1st and to his mother 2nd.



and this one. this one with his dark hair and mischievous grin. his quiet yet fun take on life. his love of animals and brothers. always in search of the joy life has to offer. to make another smile. the sweet, reverent way he passes the sacrament each Sunday. this soul filled with compassion, so much so he would give up going to a movie to stop and change a flat tire for another mother whom he didn't know. a bestest buddy of his younger brother. who told him he could go from a tree climbing, bicycle riding cub scout to a high school freshman with a driver's license in his horizon? oh how do i love this gun toting, sling shot making, car loving boy.

and finally this small one. this cotton topped kindergartener oozing with charm. his excitement of learning new things and willingness to bring me along. he too has a love for all things golf, and animals, and well, life. this renaissance boy who loves with passion sketching, fishing, painting, music, gardening, books, building, the gospel of Jesus Christ, and again life. always willing to do his part. to work hard and play harder.generous. kind. loving. and a good eater to boot. this sweet spirit has gone to a newborn in NICU clinging to life to an athletic young boy. from toddle to a gallop. from being read to now reading to us. my baby is no longer much of a baby and now more a boy. this guy, like his brothers, holds my heart in his tiny, dirt stained hands.

how dare they?

a little late but here i am and apparently beautiful

my sweet sweet sister in law Erin has awarded me the beautiful blogger award. isn't that the nicest? i have a feeling she has run out of beautiful blogs to award and has been forced to mediocre blogs. in any case, thanks!

the one and only rule is that i share with my readers 10 things they do not know about me. TEN?! okay, let my nerdiness go public......

1. i love to fill out forms. if anyone goes to the doctor in my family, they just hand them to me. it has a proper place for each thing. a neat little box to check. a handy list to mark off. what could be better?
2. i would rather be with my chickens than shopping. yes, the former queen of the mall is so over it. i love my girls (and 2 boys) and visit with them everyday. they give me lovely eggs daily so it is the least i can do to thank them and keep them company.
3. log trucks freak me out. i will not drive behind a log truck. it is only a matter of time that they are going to come sliding out of those things and kill us all!!
4. i dream of living in Vermont on a farm. it is gorgeous there and the farms in the pictures are of a Norman Rockwell quality. i am sure that i would be in heaven there with my sheep and goats and cows and pigs and chickens. i am sure of it.
5. i sing every word to every song that comes on the car radio...very loudly i might add. it is sad but true. if only i could sing on key.
6. i love my organic garden. OK that is not news to anyone but this is. i have signed up to take the master gardeners class with the Jefferson County Extension Agency. i have always wanted to do it so i am.
7. i am super duper insecure. that has always been the case. how is that possible when you are so loud you ask? i do not know. i second guess myself at every turn. well....i did. i am working on it. i think it is getting better. i am me and that is all i can be.
8. i wish i were a seamstress. i could make all sorts of lovely for me to wear and fabulousness for my home.
9. i cannot stand gum or to watch it being chewed. totally grosses me out.
10. i am a closet writer. there. my biggest secret. i should say i secretly write. i am no writer. but that doesn't stop me.

so there are my ten things. i now bestow this award to.........

::Lacy Ruggles

::Teri Iseman

::Jennifer Shepherd

::Molly Dunham

::Theresa Montes

::Shannon Swafford

::Monica Hindmarsh